{journal twelve}

I'm protesting Halloween this year by not dressing up.  Actually, I just forgot to get a costume.  But still. I'm tired of feeling like I have to dress like a tramp every Hallow's Eve.

It is nice not having to worry if my butt is going to be hanging out of the strips of material I called a costume last year while I'm walking down 6th Street.  Because I will admit, I have worn my fair share of barely there Halloween costumes for the sake of fitting in at Halloween parties (even though the whole time I was pulling down my skirt and pulling up my shirt).  I'm just not a show-half-your-body sort of gal.

Why is it that on Halloween, girls/women have the option to either be ugly, or slutty?

ugly: 

or slutty:

or scary slutty:

Yet men have the option to be cool looking doctors, astronauts, lumberjacks, famous athletes, you know it.  If a woman was to go to a costume party dressed up as a lumberjack, people would probably laugh at her.  Unless it was a sexy lumberjack.

Here are some costumes that are sexed up, and really, really shouldn't be:

"sexy Nemo" -- what?

"sexy Ninja Turtle"

this one was advertised as "sexy small child"...wrong on many levels

Halloween is for dressing up and having fun.  If you want to be slutty, or risque this Halloween, I say go for it.  I just don't like it that that if a woman is going to dress up and have fun for Halloween, she has to show half of her body in order to be accepted.  

I think this is telling of our society as well.  In every day life (not Halloween), women that reveal more skin, cleavage, butt are more likely to receive more attention it seems.  Think about high school, it's the cheerleaders in the short skirts that are the popular ones, but the girls in art or the girls in choir.  Throughout our society, 'less is more' when it comes to how much clothing you're wearing vs. how much attention you will be receiving.  Halloween isn't any different.

P.S. a friend of mine just posted a picture of herself in her Halloween costume.  She was an astronaut ... a sexy astronaut (see above mention of cool guy costumes).

{journal eleven}

I thought Wired Magazine was about tech stuff?  Apparently not.  

As an avid consumer/absorber of everything new media, Wired is a favorite magazine of mine.  But in recent months I've started to notice the subtle objectification of women in the pages of their magazines and on their covers.  It started with an image of a women in a slightly risque position accompanying an article that had absolutely nothing to do with women/risque positions/etc., and now we've evolved to boobies on the front cover.

I also have another beef with Wired Magazine.  There is little mention of women kicking butt and taking names in the technology world.  And HELLO, there are a lot of women doing awesome things in the tech world.  Maybe Wired isn't as forward thinking as everyone thought it was.  Maybe writers at the magazine aren't doing proper research on the current state of the industry, or maybe they think only men read the magazine (which is false, most of my tech savvy female friends subscribe).

Back to this cover.  Yes, the article being promoted is about tissue engineering.  Yes, that does affect breast implants.  But I think there could have been a more classy/less exploitive image choice made.  Women are in the tech world.  Even more so, women are achieving major technological advancements in the tech world.  It's time for magazines like Wired to take note of this and realize it isn't just a boy's game anymore.

{journal ten}

I just remembered another type of mom...
the cool mom

I had a few friends in high school who had "cool" moms.  Their moms were typically younger than the other moms, hot (I guess they were MILFs) and always wanted to be their daughters' BFF.  They were very involved in their daughters' lives, concerned about how their daughters' dressed/looked (always wanted them to look hot, but maybe not as hot as them).  They were always the mom that friends loved hanging out with.  Friends could talk to them about anything (because she wasn't "like other moms"), and they usually let their kids (and their kids' friends) do things that other moms wouldn't do (have parties, drink, etc.).

This brings up the controversial issue of parents letting their children and their friends drink "under their supervision."  Because as the classic "cool mom" line goes, "I'd rather you drink here at home with me than out at some party where you have to drive home."  While this makes friends think that mom is super cool, it may make other parents completely lose respect for that mom, or even not let their kids hang out there any more (unless they too are a cool mom, then it's all okay apparently).

It seems like these mom are trying to live vicariously through their kids (it mostly seems to be mother and daughter duos).  Maybe these are mothers that got pregnant with their child early in life, and feel like they missed out so they're trying to live through their child?  I don't know.  But sometimes it seems like these moms care more about being their daughters' best friend rather than their parent.  I'm sorry, but I don't want my mom to go on vacation with me and us wear matching string bikinis and take shots together.  I want a mom (and want to be a mom) that is respected by their children, and their children's friends.  But at the same time be a friend, and be someone that they can talk to.  I think there is a balancing act between being a parent and being about to relate to your child/being someone your child wants to be around.  And some moms totally do not understand that balance.

Are these moms bad moms?  Maybe so, maybe not.  But they are definitely seeking approval from their children and their children's friends, possibly because of their own insecurities about being a parent and not being "young and cool" any more.

{journal nine}

This post was inspired by a brief discussion we had in class recently about our gender identity being a result of biology vs. a result of society.  It was particularly interesting to me because in my Sociology of Gender class last semester we had many discussions about this very thing.  The articles referenced in this post were from the sociology readings from last semester.  If you'd like to look at them, or get more information about them, I'd be happy to bring them to class.

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There are two basic ideas about how we become who we are as a person. The first idea is that the ways we grow, act and think are biologically wired in us from birth. The second idea is that environmental factors, such as the way we were raised and whom we interact with, influence who we are as a person. There have been countless debates about which one is responsible for how we become who we are. Different fields of research and science credit different things for how we develop. My opinion is that that while both factors influence us, it is through the environmental factors and social contexts we experience that biological influences come into play.  Simply put, the biological factors that differentiate males and females don’t matter unless they are considered within relevant social contexts.

Looking strictly at biology, some researchers claim that it is through biological influences, and those influences only, that we develop into who we are.  Some studies suggest that it is through biology that we can explain gender, or what it means to be masculine or feminine. While taking a sociology of gender class last semester, several studies we read claimed that the masculine or feminine characteristics we have are with us from birth, and it is through prenatal exposure to certain hormones that we are particularly masculine or particularly feminine. For example, according to one of the researchers we studied in sociology (Udry), women have taken on bigger roles and gained more equality in society because of increased exposure to testosterone while in the womb (2000).

I think that while there are certain attributes that we are born with that determine our gender, it is through social forces that those attributes are developed. Biology isn't final.  For instance, our social experiences can influence our gender, and can alter what predetermined gender identities we were born with.  Someone born biological female can encounter numerous social influences that can alter her gender. Influences such as the way she was raised by her parents, the demographic make-up of where she lives or the friends she has can alter her gender. If she was raised in a household with a father who pushed her to disregard feminine activities, a disengaged mother, and no sisters, she might grow up with more of a masculine perspective.  If she was particularly interested in sports, or if the friends she has don't like to engage in feminine activities, her own interests might not be feminine. Her competitive nature that she learned through playing sports might aid her in a professional setting, in which one day she becomes the vice president of a company. Her being more masculine was because of her social experiences, not necessarily because of increased exposure to testosterone while she was in her mother’s womb.

While biology does matter, gender is viewed as a “socially constructed institutional arrangement, with gender divisions and roles built into all major social institutions such as the economy, the family, the state, culture, religion and the law, that is, the gendered social order” (Kennelly, Merz & Lorber, 2000, p. 600). Women learn what it means to be a mother, a wife and a female professional from the social influences they encounter in their lives. What it means to be a woman, or to be feminine, is constantly changing, as society is constantly redefining certain roles, expectations and characteristics (Risman, 2000). Therefore it is through these social changes that the definition of a woman transforms, not just because of fluctuating hormone levels (Risman, 2000).

There is no question that biology does affect us. When we are born, we have certain chemicals in our bodies, and certain physical attributes, that designate us as male or female. However, it is through social contexts that we develop and ‘play out’ our gender, so to speak. Our biological make-up means nothing without understanding the social situation or influences that surround it. I fully support this idea, and have experienced this both with the people I interact with, as well as myself. Your DNA only goes so far without also considering the social constructs in which you live.

{journal eight}

Introducing -- the metrosexual

Most of the guys in that video I found attractive.  They were muscular, tan, had a nice chiseled face and good hair...what's not to like?  In our society, there is a fine line between simply caring about your appearance and taking care of yourself, and being a little "too feminine" or being "too girly."  This is for boys, of course.  Girls seem to be able to get away with more in terms of showing outwardly characteristics that are deemed masculine.  Oh but not boys.  If a boy seems to have crossed that imaginary line of acceptance, they're not longer the attractive, chiseled buff guy, they're your gay best friend.

It's interesting that for all the things that guys can get away with but girls can not, guys simply can't get away with acting like a girl.  Hm, that has some pretty big implications I think.  It's considered sissy-like behavior for men to exhibit female tendencies...could this be because society says that acting like a woman is not a good thing?  Apparently caring about your teeth and not wanting hair in weird places (i.e. "womanly" things) means you are degrading yourself.  When is it going to be acceptable for women to show masculine tendencies AND men to show female tendencies?  Probably never.  Because acting like a man is a good thing, where as it seems that acting like a woman is not.

And for a little fun, if you're wondering how you yourself can become a metrosexual, check out these helpful tips from eHow:

• Get a theme song. Every metro man needs a good song to get him going. Listen to it in the mornings or before you go out for the evening. The music in your head will put a sexy swing in your step. Ricky Martin's "Shake Your Bon-Bon" is a good choice
• Manscape. Grooming is an absolute must. Get spa treatments. Take care of your skin. Put highlights in your hair. Complete removal of all body hair is best, but at the very least it should be neatly maintained. There is no such thing as a metrosexual with a unibrow or back hair. Keep hair only where it counts and make sure it is styled.
• Wear tight pants. You want to accentuate your good parts. It's better to go too tight than too big.
• 
  
  
  
  Worship. Kelly Clarkson is the patron saint of metrosexuals. As illustrated in the movie "40-Year-Old Virgin," you can call on Saint Kelly to help you get through painful beauty rituals.
  Observe the Metro City limits. Don't take grooming too far. Wearing lip balm is fine. Lip gloss, however, is not. Hair products are a staple. Hair extensions, on the other hand, are only for Rupaul.
  
  

{journal seven}

The Conservative Fundamentalist Christian movement known as a "purity ball" has grown in popularity in recent years, particularly in the South. This movement's mission is to have young girls make vows to their fathers that they will remain pure until marriage. For many that take this vow, this means no dancing or kissing until marriage.  As this 2007 Glamour article asks, would you pledge your virginity to your father?

Here is a short clip explaining purity balls, both from the father's and daughter's perspective:

Um...WHERE ARE THE BOYS?!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if girls should remain pure...shouldn't boys as well?  Or are boys exempt to this rule?  I suppose the counterpart to purity balls would be Promise Keepers.  But the difference is that those boys aren't pledging to someone that they will remain pure, they answer to themselves.  As the father in the video explained, girls "need" to have this connection and acceptance from their fathers.  Do girls need a formal ball in order to say no to sex?  Does having a little diamond ring on their finger somehow make them immune to the desires and crazy hormonal emotions that come with being a teenager and young adult?

And no matter the reasoning (religious, moral, etc.), one might ask, why it is the duty of the father to have his daughter vow in public that they won't have sex before marriage?  Shouldn't they be making that decision for themselves?  And if they decide to change their stance later on in life, isn't it their decision to make without being made felt guilty by their parents?

Here's a clip about the correlation of rising teen pregnancy rates and conservative/abstinence only states:

Very interesting stuff...

{journal six}

I went and saw the movie Easy A this weekend with my sister. Yes, it's a chick flick. Yes, I liked it. Don't judge me.

Anyway, I think the message of the movie 'good girl gone bad girl' is a great example of the 'bad girl' image we talked about in class. Here's a little preview of the movie:

We've got dark lipstick, provocative clothing, heels and scandalous behavior.  We've got ourselves a bad girl.  I know I could have found a billion movie clips that show bad girls being well, bad girls; but I chose this one because it shows the evolution of good girl to bad girl.  It shows that maybe we all have a little bad girl in us?

Here are a few examples of modern day bad girls in pop culture.  They smoke, wear black clothing and sky high heels, don't give a damn and are smokin' hot...the perfect bad girl.

Megan Fox

Actress -- mostly roles where she is the sexy bad girl

Taylor Momsen

Gossip Girl actress

Rocker

All around "Bad Ass"

Courtney Love

The original bad girl

I think that the girl girl vs. bad girl saga will always be prevalent in our society.  Bad girls are the ones guys fantasize about, good girls are the ones they bring home to mom and dad.  Bad girls are the mysterious, unstable, crazy lovers; good girls are the steady girlfriends because they don't have tons of issues...at least not on the surface.  I think deep down, good girls have a part of them that really are secret bad girls.  And maybe once and a while they let their closet bad girl come out and play.