{journal ten}

I just remembered another type of mom...
the cool mom

I had a few friends in high school who had "cool" moms.  Their moms were typically younger than the other moms, hot (I guess they were MILFs) and always wanted to be their daughters' BFF.  They were very involved in their daughters' lives, concerned about how their daughters' dressed/looked (always wanted them to look hot, but maybe not as hot as them).  They were always the mom that friends loved hanging out with.  Friends could talk to them about anything (because she wasn't "like other moms"), and they usually let their kids (and their kids' friends) do things that other moms wouldn't do (have parties, drink, etc.).

This brings up the controversial issue of parents letting their children and their friends drink "under their supervision."  Because as the classic "cool mom" line goes, "I'd rather you drink here at home with me than out at some party where you have to drive home."  While this makes friends think that mom is super cool, it may make other parents completely lose respect for that mom, or even not let their kids hang out there any more (unless they too are a cool mom, then it's all okay apparently).

It seems like these mom are trying to live vicariously through their kids (it mostly seems to be mother and daughter duos).  Maybe these are mothers that got pregnant with their child early in life, and feel like they missed out so they're trying to live through their child?  I don't know.  But sometimes it seems like these moms care more about being their daughters' best friend rather than their parent.  I'm sorry, but I don't want my mom to go on vacation with me and us wear matching string bikinis and take shots together.  I want a mom (and want to be a mom) that is respected by their children, and their children's friends.  But at the same time be a friend, and be someone that they can talk to.  I think there is a balancing act between being a parent and being about to relate to your child/being someone your child wants to be around.  And some moms totally do not understand that balance.

Are these moms bad moms?  Maybe so, maybe not.  But they are definitely seeking approval from their children and their children's friends, possibly because of their own insecurities about being a parent and not being "young and cool" any more.