{journal three}

Am I a bad feminist?

Why do I ask this?  Well, I've considered myself a feminist for quite some time.  In fact, my conservative, Fox News loving father (whom I love dearly), loves to sigh and say "oh you liberal feminist hippie" when I disagree with him about something.  Anything, really.  It doesn't even have to do with gender issues.  I feel passionate about the empowerment and advancement of women (both naturally born women, and those that now call themselves women).  I firmly believe that a woman can "have it all" (a successful career and a family, etc.).  I get angry when I hear cases of glass ceilings or women being labeled as on the "mommy career path."

I get especially angry when I read articles like "The Cult of True Womanhood" or hear men say things like "a woman's place is in the kitchen."  It frustrates me when women go to college to simply get a MRS. degree (i.e. find a husband).

But do you want to know my deep dark secret?

...I get really excited thinking about planning future Thanksgiving meals for my family

...or decorating my first house

...or envisioning maybe not having to work one day and staying home with my kids

...or being proudly at my husband's side when he gets a promotion/wins a weekend soccer game/etc. 

My inner feminist gets really angry when I think these things...why must there be such turmoil in my mind?!

I think there is an inner conflict going on in the minds of many young/successful/educated/feminist-thinking women.  We think the "cult of true womanhood" is crap.  Except, sometimes we think some of the aspects or characteristics that go along with it are intriguing.  Or they just seem to fit into how we envision our future (and we like them in those thoughts).  And then we envision other feminists running after us with torches and wooden stakes.

Can we have both?  Can we fight for the rights of women while still maintaining some of the traditions that go along with womanhood?  Who decides whether or not those traditions are "acceptable" for an empowered woman, and which ones bring her down?  I suppose it's in the eye of the beholder.  To one person, you may be a respectful small business owner who loves being crafty with her kids.  To another person, you may have given up your dreams of growing your small business because you were too busy hanging out with your kids and making decorations for your home.  

I also think a lot of it is within yourself.  It is up to you to decide which label (if any) you're going to wear.  Yes, I believe in the empowerment of women.  Yes, I believe that women can have successful careers.  And yes, I believe it is okay for women to want to be domestic.  Yes, I think it's okay for women to want to focus on raising young babies for a little while and take some time off of work.  And I think you can do all of those things and still stand up in the name of women.  And I think you should be applauded for it.  Because really, us women can do whatever the heck we want, we've earned the right to work, create, procreate, cook, decorate, lead, invent, whatever.  I am woman, hear me roar.